AVM

Catching the Curveball.

 

Kingston, Ontario, Canada

When I think of candles, I immediately think relaxation. I’m reminded of a quintessential, almost clichéd scene: a woman at ease, bathing.

She sinks into massive bubble cloud with the lights dim in the background.  Her tub is surrounded by a barrage of colorful candles - the scents blend together, poking through each of her nostrils.


Growing up, candles were the added cherry on top in my household – a bonus for a day spent cleaning: we’d straighten up the living room, take the dog out for a walk, vacuum, do the dishes and fold the laundry. The fragrance from a lit candle, signaled a job-well-done.

My memory says it’s dusk on a warm country night in nowheresville, Iowa by the time we finish.  I stay here for a minute. My mother is in the kitchen cutting vegetables, preparing dinner – powerful food aromas fight against the floral stagnation in the air.

The mixture is a smell I love and will never forget.

Coming back to reality, I travel further north outside the states where I meet Rhian Jansen, a candle maker in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Rhian’s been in the business of making candles for 7 years selling through her e-commerce store, rhicreations.com.

Her favorite concoction is a comingling of sweet and subtle.

“The first scent combo I ever created was Vanilla & Sweet Grass.  I’ve always been a huge fan of sarcasm and witty banter so naturally that’s the direction I took with my branding.  I call this candle ‘The Middle Child’…and of course, I’m a middle child.”

Always crafty, she’s been making ‘something out of nothing’ for as long as she can remember. Rhian’s background in the beauty and fashion industry helped keep her aligned with a home goods aesthetic, offering complementary pieces for home and spa décor.

Her and I connected over my guest episode of the NeuroNerds podcast; I wanted to share her story about the impact of her recent brain bleed on her small business.


In the middle of a global pandemic, Rhian became a member of the survivor club. An AVM [arteriovenous malformation] at the top right of her brain, bled, leading to paralysis of her entire left side. She spent a total of seven weeks hospitalized: two in-patient and five undergoing rehab.

Having the capacity to move forward in business under such unexpected physical and mental duress is challenging. Although medical insurance is a hot button issue in the US, most employers offer disability coverage: at the highest level, you are granted a ‘leave of absence’ to recover and a percentage of your income, in the interim.

During the time of my bleed, I was employed at an environmental engineering firm. I took three months of disability for treatment while receiving 60% of my paycheck. For an independent business owner, things can look a little different, particularly in another country.  

A year and some change out, she has had to make adjustments to accommodate the new version of herself; her energy and stamina can be limited – a common fallout among survivors.


“I give myself 2–3-hour windows to work; I set a timer and force myself to stop when it goes off.  It’s always a double edge sword: if I’m still feeling good cognitively, I get physical fatigue or vice-versa.”

She suggests adjusting your expectations upon returning to work; expecting the same outcomes as before only lead to disappointment and frustration. Life post bleed ebbs and flows – you have good days, ok days and really bad days.  The trick is to slow down and give yourself grace.

“Really learn to be in-tune with your body and listen to the cues it gives you. Don’t force anything.  I’ve also found a lot of comfort through alternative therapies like acupuncture and reiki.”

I remember diving head first into yoga after my treatment. I needed something that was accessible to me that I could use on a regular basis.  Slow flow vinyasa centered my breathing and stretched the stiff muscles I acquired from being bed ridden. It gave me something to focus and concentrate on, improving my overall balance.

“I never fully knew what being your own advocate meant until I was put in this situation where it was crucial to be one.”

I won’t lie: the road to recovery is tough; listening to your intuitive self will help guide you.

Check out Rhian on Facebook @rhicreations and IG @rhicreations_.

Fast5 Facts:

Define Success: Happiness
Coffee or Tea of Choice: Oat Vanilla Latte or a London Fog (depends on the day)
Who/What Is Your Motivator: Happiness
What Balances You: Boundaries
Favorite Color: (Forest) Green

Mood Music: Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

#beyondthestroke: Bridget, The Photographer.

 

Tucson, Arizona

The COVID quarantine has given me space to evaluate the ways in which I connect with other survivors. I was prompted to start a new series called #beyondthestroke; interviews featuring young women and men who have persevered through a brain injury, moving to forward to create interesting careers and fulfilling lives for themselves.

We are more than our strokes.

I met Bridget, a Photographer out of Tucson, via Instagram some odd months ago – we bonded over our shared experience as young survivors of cerebral hemorrhages. She has a playful personality; followers open a window into her universe: Bridget the Mother. Bridget the Survivor. Bridget the Photographer.  Her enthusiasm for the latter is mirrored in her collage work - exploring different shapes, colors and textures - sometimes using her kids as inspiration.

Under the Tucson Sun.

Under the Tucson Sun.

At the center of Bridget’s business is Boudoir – a sensual style of photography that aim to celebrate the beauty of women’s bodies. The word “Boudoir” is French meaning ‘a lady’s private dressing room.’

Such a sexy style of photography, juxtaposed against nurturing displays of motherhood, unwrap the competing layers that women often deal with – she addresses this in a recent Instagram post, “I am going to start posting my Boudoir work here. I should have done this long ago, but I was like ‘oh I can’t, someone will get offended.’ I am choosing to let go of the fear and choosing my happiness instead.”

I was curious to learn about her shift into photography and how the bleed opened a pathway to recognizing a new passion. Like myself, Bridget had an AVM rupture in her mid-twenties, “I was two miles into one of my favorite hiking trails with my daughter when it happened.”

The rupture occurred in her cerebellum, the part of the brain controlling balance and motor activities. She talks about the beginning of her photography journey shortly after her hemorrhage, using it to retain precious moments with her children.

“About a month after my stroke, my husband and I took my daughter out trick-or-treating - I woke up the next morning and realized that I couldn’t remember what she dressed up as, what candy she got, or which houses we went to. It made me sad to know my brain was now broken and I might miss out on those memories with my kids. I started taking pictures of everything, almost like a ‘backup hard drive’ for my broken brain.”

One of the more difficult parts of recovery is having to relearn basic proficiencies. Depending on the severity of the bleed - walking, talking, reading and life skills can be struggle.  Bridget taught herself how to navigate around a Canon T6i using resources like YouTube, but adding the task of mastering photography on top of stroke recovery, present more challenges.

“Learning how to use my camera was tough. Processing new information so early in my recovery was next to impossible. I would get frustrated with myself very easily; I view the world in a different way than most. Photography is about finding beauty and art in situations or moments that you wouldn’t normally see. My stroke rewired my brain to view the world in that way. Now, it’s just all about snapping that photo so the rest of the world can view it as that too!”

Finding the beauty in the madness as a form of self-expression, require a high level of creativity and confidence; Bridget constantly bucks the tradition with her photography.

“I thought it had “rules” in the beginning. I thought my photos needed to look a certain way. I convinced myself that my work had to resemble what my favorite photographers were doing. I had to teach myself how to trust my vision as an artist, and once I came out of my shell and did that… the magic started happening.”

Her brush with death reframed her outlook, “I’ve put blinders up to most negativity. I don’t focus on it – it doesn’t tear me down and get inside my mind. All I know now is to keep creating and making art that I love.”

I asked her about the creative process behind her photos and how she prepares both herself and clients for a shoot:

Bridget.jpg

“Most clients have never had a Boudoir session and are extremely nervous. When it comes to my Boudoir work, I try and go over every single step of the session with them: how they will be posed, what I am looking at or what light I want to be able to catch in their hair. My clients are also my muse. I really soak in their vibes the second they walk in. When I am bombarded with all of the magical ideas in my mind, it’s tough to think of the right words to say or describe what I am thinking. Most of my clients find me through IG and are aware of my brain injury. They are aware of my unusual tendencies and the way I create. I am thankful for that.”

She shared a few stores with me about specific client sessions that stood out, highlighting the impact of working with women survivors of all kind.

“A woman came in for a session three weeks prior to getting a double mastectomy. I am all about loving your body at every single stage of your life and the fact that she trusted me to document that for her, was everything. Another was a stroke survivor: it was beyond rewarding for me.  After a stroke you become a “new version” of yourself. I didn’t like “the new me” for a very long time. I would take photos of other women who were beautiful, but I didn’t think of myself that way. Once I got behind my own lens and saw myself how the “photographer” in me would see me, it was a game changer. Being able to provide another stroke survivor with that view, was indescribable.”

Bridget’s story reminds me of something I read long ago: one of the ways to build confidence is by authentically giving to others.  Feelings of accomplishment from offering direct, positive impact – in her case, letting clients view themselves in the way she does – by extension, increase self-esteem.

Her advice to those coming out of post-stroke recovery: “Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself.”

Bridget is currently taking a break from her regular studio work due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. “I’ve been getting creative and doing different styles of shoots to feed my soul for myself. I like the direction it is taking me, and I can’t wait to see what comes out of it!”

Fast5 Facts:

Define Success: Happiness
Coffee or Tea: Green Tea Latte
Who/What Is Your Motivation: My Children
What Balances You: Hiking
Favorite Color: Pink

You can catch up with Bridget on IG @bridgetclarice

Mood Music: Bright Eyes – Bowl of Oranges